I was chatting with one of my friends, and he asked me- “what kinda guy you want in your life..??”…I smiled at the question. It wasn’t something new that someone had asked me….i came across this question a lot of time in my life…I answered the question too…but never sincerely….coz I myself dint know what kinda guy I wanted…above all I thought how would it even matter, I’m never gonna find such a guy…!!!
but what if I could..???
it was one crazy dream which woke me up at 4 in the morning….i sat on my bed looking outside the window…the view was beautiful, it was full moon…I started listening to my favorite track , as I couldn’t get back my sleep….and I don’t know how but this question popped up in my head…it kept on repeating itself….” Karishma, what kinda guy you want…??..” I dint wanted to answer that question coz no matter how much I tried I never found the correct answer…or may be coz I thought it wasn’t even important to find an answer to this question…it was lame I thought…!!!
But the night was different today…I argued myself…what if it was important…??...
I have been in love…passionately…the memories are bitter-sweet…I never wanted to let it go…but things dint work out the way I wanted them to…I was hurt, broke and depressed…I just couldn’t understand what happened…one moment we were happy and madly in love…and with a blink of an eye it was all over…after that, it never realy mattered what kinda guy I wanted…I was too afraid to fall in love again….or may be coz I was a coward….it takes a lot of courage to fall in love…opening up your heart to someone…giving them all you have…knowing that you can /will get hurt…history has it that all the great love stories were broken…( romeo-juliet, heer-ranjha, laila-majnu ) they could never be together…
But then I asked myself…for how long am I prepared to run away from it…??..i know…every one reading this would have asked themselves the same question…why am I so afraid to fall in love…why am I so afraid to tell myself that its time that I need that SOMEONE SPECIAL in my life again…
For many of us the real question would be- “ are we afraid of the rejection..???”…and all my ladies out there, they don’t speak their heart out coz we think “I’m a girl…I’m not supposed to go first…its against the rules…guy proposes and I respond…that’s how it works..” but for how long are you prepared to play the blind fold…are you ready to see the love of your life go away in front of your eyes…are you ready to accept the fact that you could have been with the guy/girl of your dreams if only you had Believed and had taken that leap of faith…
I am not ready to take that leap of faith yet…coz I need to ask myself first that what am I looking for…and it took me quite a while to figure out what kinda guy I wanted…
Starting from the obvious, ofcourse I want someone who will love me, care for me…make me smile when I’m low and support me through all my hardships…that was clichéd…I know…
Now what I really want is someone who will respect me for what I am…someone who is prepared to accept me inspite of all my flaws…coz I am not someone easy to tame…I’m a taurean afterall….*winks*…
I don’t want to be his queen…but I want to be the only lady love in his life…I don’t want him to shower me with expensive gifts …but I would want him to atleast gimme a rose everyday so that I know I’m loved…I don’t want him to keep me happy always…but I want that he should never be the reason behind my tears….i am not expecting him to be perfect…but I want him to be a man and take responsibility for the mistakes he made…I don’t want him to do everything that I say, but I want him to atleast full fill the promises that he made…i don’t want him to compliment me every now and then but I want him to be proud of me…I don’t want him to say he is lucky to have me but I want to know that I mean the whole world to him and that he wouldn’t dare loose me…I don’t want him to buy me diamonds all the time…but I want him to take me to those romantic dates which I deserve…I don’t want him to give a beautiful speech about me in public, but I want him to take my stand when someone is trying to give me hard time…I don’t expect him to be polite to me all the time but he should atleast have the decency to not yell at me in public and wait for the right time to tell me my mistakes…I don’t want him to tell me I am hot or sexy, but I want him to let me know that I’m the woman he always dreamt of….i don’t want him to give me all his 24hrs…but I want him to have the decency to not abandon me for his personal pleasures when he knows I would be lonely and waiting for him…I don’t want him to not make mistakes, but I want to know that he is genuinely sorry when he makes one…and the most important thing, I would want him to treat my parents as his own…i want him to love them and respect them…for they gave their most important treasure, their daughter to him..!!!
Too much to ask..???...well that’s what I would want in my guy…:)…and when I find someone like this…I’ll be ready to take my leap of faith…and I wouldn’t hesitate to tell him that he is all that I always wanted.
So, to all my readers, what kinda guy/girl do you want..??? and are you ready to take your leap of faith…!!!
And when you find the love of your life…don’t forget to communicate your feelings…coz..
“IF YOU HESITATE-YOU REGRET”…!!!
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